Feeling Our Feelings
Learning to recognize, experience, and manage our emotions is truly some of the most important skills that we can learn to have and practice.
For some, being more in touch with our emotions comes naturally. By “being in touch” means, simply being able to better understand the things that we are feeling and the situations we find ourselves in. The good news is, that everyone can be more aware of their emotions. Like many, if not all things, takes practice. But worth the effort.
Emotional awareness is the first step toward building emotional intelligence. Because the moment that we are aware, we can then learn how to better shape our experiences, actions, and reactions. In fact, the better we become at noticing how it is that we are feeling, and truly feeling our feelings through, the more likely we are in processing them in a healthy manner, adjusting our behaviors, and reactions, and the greater we tend to do in life, create/maintain healthy connections, and manage difficulties, and setbacks that life may throw.
Properly feeling our feelings, and emotions allow them to show up for us
They teach us, seek to serve, and empower us to explore the world safely by making meaning of our experiences, and the energy we’re granted, the way things affect not only our emotions but our mental and physical thus, teaching us about ourselves. Our emotions are valuable sources of information that give us direction by helping us know what it is that we are needing in order to better understand our reality, once we decide to look at them as such. Simply saying, we are not sad, bitter, angry, or happy, we are simply the ones experiencing those emotions.
How to Cultivate Happiness
While some people tend to be naturally optimistic and happier, there are things that we can do to cultivate our sense of happiness. What is the meaning behind experiencing Happiness?
For starters, happiness is different and comes in different forms for many people. However, whatever your version or how you cultivate that may be, happiness shows feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. An often relatively feeling that’s felt in the present moment.
While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.
Two key components of happiness (or subjective well-being) are:
The balance of emotions: Everyone experiences both positive and negative emotions, feelings, and moods. Happiness is linked to experiencing positive emotions more than negative ones.
Life satisfaction: This relates to how satisfied we feel with different areas of our lives including our relationships, work, achievements, and other things that you consider important.
Types of happiness that may fall under Two main categories
There are many different ways of thinking about happiness. For example, two different kinds of happiness (distinction created by ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle):
Hedonia: Hedonic happiness is derived from pleasure. It’s most often associated with doing what feels good, self-care, fulfilling desires, experiencing enjoyment, and feeling a sense of satisfaction and contentment.
Eudaimonia: This type of happiness is derived from seeking virtue and meaning. Important components of eudaimonic well-being include feeling that your life is or has been meaningful, of value, and purposeful. It is associated more with fulfilling responsibilities, investing in long-term goals, concern for the welfare of other people, and living up to our personal beliefs and desires.
1. Pursue Intrinsic Goals
Achieving goals we are intrinsically motivated to pursue, particularly ones that are focused on spiritual, and personal growth, and community, and boost our health & happiness. Research suggests that pursuing these types of intrinsically-motivated goals can increase happiness more than pursuing extrinsic goals like gaining money, and or status.
2. Enjoy each Moment, Especially the present
Studies have found that people tend to over earn—we become so focused on accumulating the things we want, that we often lose track of actually enjoying what we already do have and who we are within our present moment.
So, rather than falling into the trap of mindlessly accumulating to the detriment of our own happiness, let’s practice more gratitude. The way we perceive what we endure has the ability to alter the situation entirely, I’ll of course, it may seem easier said than done it must be practiced in order to truly create balance and a sense of happiness, and optimism for our placement in the world and for what’s to come.
3. Reframe Negative Thoughts
When we find ourselves stuck in a pessimistic thought loop or experiencing what we feel to be negative emotions, we have to look for ways that we can reframe our thoughts in a more positive manner.
Some people have a natural negativity bias, or a tendency to pay more attention to bad things than the good. This can have an impact on everything from how we make decisions to how we form impressions of others, also keeping in mind that what we think we become.
Discounting the positive—a cognitive distortion where people focus on the negative and ignore the positive—can also contribute to negative thoughts. Reframing negative perceptions isn't about ignoring reality or the bad we might endure. Instead, it means trying to take a more balanced, realistic look at events, our connections, and life itself. It allows us to notice patterns in our thinking and then challenge our thoughts, thus becoming the creator of our reality.
